Saturday, March 24, 2018

The conference cycle as it really is

1. Call for papers comes out. 

"That looks so interesting, and the conference is in a cool place!  I have to submit something. Do I have something already written? Nah, but the New Direction will spur me to do better work."

2. Acceptances/rejections come out.

If I didn't get in: Mildly sad, then "Oh, well, that's a relief."

If I did get in: "Hooray, hooray!  So excited to go and present this work that I haven't written yet."

3. Months intervening.

 "I'm doing the research, but I really ought to write the paper well ahead.  Nah, I've got this Deadline on Another Thing- Crisis Level Admin Task - Teaching and prep - Papers to Grade. I have lots of time."

4. A couple of months or weeks before the conference. 

"I said I'd write about WHAT? Who wrote this proposal?"

5. Near the conference dates, but please, Flying Spaghetti Monster, not on the plane. 

Write write write write write. 

 6. At the conference before the panel.

Please let it go well please let it go well please let it go well. 

"I will never put myself through this level of stress again. I will write all papers months in advance, hand to FSM."

7. At the conference after the panel. 

Huge relief, like exiting a roller coaster. Turn into Sally Field: "They liked it! They really liked it!"

8. Browsing the announcements tables. 

"Hey, that looks like a really interesting conference, and it would stretch my work in new directions. When's the deadline for the call for papers?


gwinne said...

Haha. Yup. I have three abstracts in the works for things that are due April 1. How will I go to all those conferences? who knows....

Dame Eleanor Hull said...

Call for papers comes out. I say nope, nope, nope, I need to finish some things before I start anything new.
A friend/big name asks me for a paper to fill out a session.
I say I’ll think about it.
Friend asks for a title at least.
I grumble and supply one.
Repeat your steps 3-7.

Notorious Ph.D. said...

Don't forget the alternate step 7: Nobody says anything about the paper that helps or hurts or even engages with it meaningfully. Wonder why you go to the bother.

Fie upon this quiet life! said...

LOL! I was JUST looking at CFPs today, and thinking, "Oh man, there are so many juicy things I want to write about..." But then I remember that I have to go on the bloody job market and therefore should be working on my book instead of conferences. (Unless I can fit a chapter into a conference, which so far, I doubt.)

I've got my study abroad May 8-26th. By then I'll know how my appeal has gone with my school, and I'll have time to write in the evenings. I want to knock out a lot of writing while I'm gone. (Here's hoping I won't be so exhausted that I can't do anything!)

Joaquin Stick said...

6b. At the actual panel

i. Dismay at the fact that one or more of the other panelists either dropped out at the last moment or decided to write on a subject entirely different from the one they originally submitted as a proposal.

ii. Frustration at the fact that no time was left for Q&A because panelist #2 went over their allotted time by twenty minutes and was not prevented from doing so by the chair, with whom he has been friends since graduate school.

iii. Further dismay at the fact that there wouldn’t have been any Q&A anyway since the four people in the freezing-cold room were either asleep after a heavy (and/or liquid) lunch, looking at their phone during the entire session except when startled by the smattering of polite applause after each paper, or blood relatives of one of the panelists.

I’m so over conferences, in case that’s not clear.

Unknown said...

This feels a little familiar.

Dame Eleanor Hull said...

Undine, I saw this and immediately thought of you and the writing house series: