Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Tenure, the musical

Tenure, the musical

As inspired by the recent posts and the newest piece in the Chronicle.

Pro:

Tenure! We can’t get enough of
Tenure!

Who’ll advise all the students if you toss us in the drink?
Who’ll sit on the committees that make us yawn and blink?
Who’ll stand up to the administration while it tries to shrink
The full-time faculty who force the students to think
Without tenure?

Who’ll stand up to politicians who fail to acknowledge
That learning may have changed a bit since they were in college?
Without academic freedom, no one will be spared
With the race to the bottom, everyone should be scared
Without tenure!

Con

Tenure! We’ve got to do away with
Tenure!

The old coots will never, ever go away
They’re clogging up the system and they’ll stay and stay
The rest of us will never, ever have our day
Because the deadwood faculty are eating up OUR pay
They have tenure!

The system is broken, and it’s clear to see
It’s got to be abolished, this insanity.
The tenured ones are bullies, so it’s easy to know
The system that they stand for has got to go.
They have tenure!

2 comments:

Sisyphus said...

I love it!

I see staging this in doctoral regalia robes, sailing back and forth across the stage, to suddenly cast them off and do a big finale kickline in showgirls-style attire to round out the show.

ArticulateDad said...

I think the biggest point about tenure is that it's the wrong argument. Tenure or no tenure has nothing, zero, zilch to do with the low priority given to education in our society, and the lack of funding that results from that.

It seems to me the best offense is to change the subject and bog your opponents down with debates off topic, preventing them from arguing essential matters. Those who disdain education have done that well of late.

My new response (like an able politician) when the subject of tenure comes up is: so, what increase in funding for education would you support? 30%, 50%? I'm really glad you brought up the subject.